I Last Night as I was on facebook there was a new Meme hitting the pages as I read it
thought how sad. while i do not agree with everything said or done during the march I completely support what it was for and about.
Then I considered well maybe these people have lived a more insulated life than I. I knew I would respond but I wanted to wait overnight and give it some thought as I didn’t want to hurt or demean or put people down. The meme was basically called :
I am not a "disgrace to women" because I don't support the women's march.
You say that you do not feel that you are a second class Citizen because you are a woman, I am happy for you I really truly am, I am glad that you haven’t had the experience of not being paid less for doing the same job as a man or denied an application for a job because it was a man job “pulling and burning brush” or that you haven’t had to sit through an interview where the man interviewing you says “this is a great job for a young man with a family” and walk out knowing you wouldn’t get that job that had full benefits. You see I have.
You say …… I do not feel my voice is "not heard" because I am a woman. I do not feel I am not provided opportunities in this life or in America because I am a woman. I do not feel that I "don't have control of my body or choices" because I am a woman. I do not feel like I am “not respected or undermined" because I am a woman……….. Do you understand the fight that even gave you a voice, have you not read about the women and men who fought for you to be able to have rights. You didn’t have the right to use birth control even if you were married until 1965--- women were not able to apply for a credit card until 1974 before that your husband to cosign , it wasn’t until 1978 that it became illegal to fire a woman for being pregnant whether she was married or not. It wasn’t in till 1973 that women could serve on jury duty in all 50 states. I am glad that you haven’t had to face these struggles I am happy that you feel respected and have been spared the blood sweat and tears.
You say I AM a woman …… Well so are those of us who stand up and fight injustice and change that you get to enjoy the benefits of.
You say I can make my own choices…… That is wonderful but there are many who have had some very important life decisions taken from them simply because they are female weather you can acknowledge it or not.
You say I can speak and be heard……… I celebrate that where you are and come from that this is the case, I do hope at some time you will be able to see that hasn’t always been the case for women in this country.
You say I can VOTE……. Have you forgotten how you even achieved that right? I do not and will not forget the women’s suffrage parade as they called it then of 1913, where over 8000 women marched, over 200 people were treated from being beaten by men and police for marching for the right to vote . It took seven more years to achieve that right.
You say you I can work if I want…… Yes you can you can also expect to earn less in many cases, you can also expect to be able to climb the ladder and become a CEO at a much lower rate than a man with the same or less education and experience. You can also choose to go into the armed forces for a career and get the bonus of being sexuality assaulted and having it brushed under the rug. But you can work.
You say I control my body ………. I am beyond thankful that you have the luxury of being able to say this and haven’t suffered being abused at the hands of a loved one having your childhood ripped from you or to have someone decide that they have the right to take your body simply because they want to. I honestly hope and pray you and your daughters will be able to go through the rest of your life being able to say this as it leaves the deepest scars changes you forever.
You say I can defend myself……. Well I can and have over and over, I defended myself as I was bending over washing the table in my church and one of the men felt he had the right to run his hand up my back, I defended myself at work on many occasions when my coworkers felt they had the right to slap me on the butt, run their hand up my thigh or slowly brush against my breast when putting something in my arms. I have stood up to my boss when leaning over his desk to look at something on the computer only to have a male employee came up and stroked my back and I told him to keep his hands off me only to get a dirty look from my boss whom I looked in the eye and said no one touches me without my permission. You say you can defend yourself I am glad truly I am, I am glad you are strong I am glad you are secure but there are many who are not and I for one will not leave them to fend for themselves or fight alone I will stand in the gap I will make changes so my daughter and granddaughter and even for your daughters whom I do not know so that they will not have to endure this kind of treatment.
You say…. I can defend my family. May this always be true for you, may your children never know what it feels like to be bystanders of watching you being beaten and bloodied by your partner in life may they never know the deepest pit of helplessness watching you crumpled on the floor helpless as he walks out the door with a disgusted look on his face as he passes you.
You say…… there is nothing stopping me to do anything in this world but MYSELF……. I will try to remember that when I am reading the next article on human sex trafficking and slavery in our country. You see i believe that determination can get you very far but I am not blind to the struggles that others go through. I really hope that these never affect your life.
You say….. I do not blame my circumstances or problems on anything other than my own choices or even that sometimes in life, we don't always get what we want. I take responsibility for myself……….. I am glad that you do not have a clue of what it is like to overcome molestation, rape, emotional abuse or maybe extreme poverty etc. Some circumstances or problems we make our selves I agree some you get no choice in and it takes a great deal of work to overcome.
You say ….I am a mother, a daughter, a wife, a sister, a friend. I am not held back in life but only by the walls I choose to not go over which is a personal choice. I agree with this it is the same for those this letter was admonishing. Don’t worry we will leave the ladders we built to overcome those walls for you when you’re ready.
You say Quit blaming ……… While I believe that we are to take responsibility for our actions and not let the actions of others excuse poor decisions or behaviors of our own, I will not pretend that there isn’t inequality in our country or double standards, I will not turn a blind eye to those to those whom have been crushed by others and tell them they didn’t work hard enough.
You say Take responsibility……. You assume that others that think differently than you do not just as they do you maybe it’s time for both sides to look in the mirror.
You say if you want to speak, do so. But do not expect for me, a woman, to take you seriously wearing a pink va-jay-jay hat on your head and screaming profanities and bashing men ……….. There are extremes on both sides and we seem to judge/bash each as a group some wear the pink cat hats (haven’t seen the Va j ones myself) some wear crosses some bash men some bash women no one is the winner here both are just banging Gongs.
You say…….. If you have beliefs, and speak to me in a kind matter, I will listen. But do not expect for me to change my beliefs to suit yours. Respect goes both ways…………. Finally a truth.
You say…….. If you want to impress me, especially in regards to women, then speak on the real injustices and tragedies that affect women in foreign countries that do not that the opportunity or means to have their voices heard……… Here is your list.
Saudi Arabia, women can't drive, no rights and must always be covered. China and India, infantcide of baby girls.
Afghanistan, unequal education rights. Democratic Republic of Congo, where rapes are brutal and women are left to die, or HIV infected and left to care for children alone. Mali, where women can not escape the torture of genital mutilation. Pakistan, in tribal areas where women are gang raped to pay for men's crime.
Guatemala, the impoverished female underclass of Guatemala faces domestic violence, rape and the second-highest rate of HIV/AIDS after sub-Saharan Africa. An epidemic of gruesome unsolved murders has left hundreds of women dead, some of their bodies left with hate messages.
Well there are some of us who think we need to clean up our own back yard before we start telling other countries to clean up theirs.
I suggest you reasearch Iran in the 1960 – 1978 (for women) you will see that they dressed pretty much like we did. Were able to go to college and Drove cars and had established several right’s that is until a religious take over….. You talk of Rape our country is rampant in rapes over 300,000 of (12 and older) a year with the perpetrator often getting a slap on the hands while the woman is degraded and shamed for everything from how she dressed talked etc ……. Female genital mutilation I am guessing that you are not aware that this is going on in our country and has actually doubled in occurrences in the last few years. News week did an article on it a while back I am sure its easy to find. Women being murdered in the UsA by domestic violence average of 3 a day.
I suggest that before you start touting about voices being heard in other countries you look at ours, do you even have any idea how much human trafficking goes on in this country? Here is a link if you are truly interested in those who are suffering on our on land. https://polarisproject.org/facts
Last but not least you’re finishing statement …. (So when women get together in AMERICA and whine they don't have equal rights and march in their clean clothes, after eating a hearty breakfast, and it's like a vacation away that they have paid for to get there)
If Standing up for our rights and or change is whining then so be it you can call me a whiner, you expect me to feel bad because I will fight oppression, corruption or brutality in clean clothes you will have to wait a very long time you see I haven’t lost site that it is by the very grace of God that I have these things or that there are so many who do not, I will not apologize for taking a stand to help those who cannot fight. I personally find it admirable that many took their vacation time and gave it up to try to make a difference for all, it’s called sacrificing and for most was something they had probably worked a year for.
You say …This WOMAN does not support it…….. Well that is the difference between us I support your right to say your piece to not march and to ignore or not be aware of what is going on in this beautiful land of ours and to be able to point out injustices in other countries to make yourself feel better about ours own shameful behavior, I sincerely hope it brings you peace, I support that you have a right to your way of life and what it means to be a woman to you, you do not have to go out and try to change things or to stop injustice or to make sure that our rights that were so hard fought for by our Mothers and grandmothers and great grandmothers are not lost. But I will and I will not feel bad because you are offended I will not apologize because you do not like it, but most of all I will not begrudge you and your daughters or granddaughters to reap the benefits of my prayers, sweat, tears and work to make this a better world. Because in the end we are all sisters and we do this not for ourselves.