I Last Night as I was on facebook there was a new Meme hitting the pages as I read it

 thought how sad. while i do not agree with everything said or done during the march I completely support what it was for and about. 

Then I considered well maybe these people have lived a more insulated life than I.  I knew I would respond but I wanted to wait overnight and give it some thought as I didn’t want to hurt or demean or put people down.  The meme was basically called :

 I am not a "disgrace to women" because I don't support the women's march.

You say that you do not feel that you are a second class Citizen because you are a woman, I am happy for you I really truly am,  I am glad that you haven’t had the experience of not being paid less for doing the same job as a man or denied an application for a job because it was a man job “pulling and burning brush” or that you haven’t had to sit through an interview where the man interviewing you says “this is a great job for a young man with a family” and walk out knowing you wouldn’t get that job that had full benefits.  You see I have.

You say ……  I do not feel my voice is "not heard" because I am a woman. I do not feel I am not provided opportunities in this life or in America because I am a woman. I do not feel that I "don't have control of my body or choices" because I am a woman. I do not feel like I am “not respected or undermined" because I am a woman……….. Do you understand the fight that even gave you a voice, have you not read about the women and men who fought for you to be able to have rights. You didn’t have the right to use birth control even if you were married until 1965--- women were not able to apply for a credit card until 1974 before that your  husband to cosign  , it wasn’t until 1978 that it became illegal to fire a woman for being pregnant whether she was married or not. It wasn’t in till 1973 that women could serve on jury duty in all 50 states.    I am glad that you haven’t had to face these struggles I am happy that you feel respected and have been spared the blood sweat and tears.

You say I AM a woman …… Well so are those of us who stand up and fight injustice and change that you get to enjoy the benefits of.

You say I can make my own choices…… That is wonderful but there are many who have had some very important life decisions taken from them simply because they are female weather you can acknowledge it or not.

You say I can speak and be heard……… I celebrate that where you are and come from that this is the case, I do hope at some time you will be able to see that hasn’t always been the case for women in this country.

You say I can VOTE……. Have you forgotten how you even achieved that right?  I do not and will not forget the women’s suffrage parade as they called it then of 1913, where over 8000 women marched, over 200 people were treated from being beaten by men and police for marching for the right to vote . It took seven more years to achieve that right.

You say you I can work if I want…… Yes you can you can also expect to earn less in many cases, you can also expect to be able to climb the ladder and become a CEO at a much lower rate than a man with the same or less education and experience.  You can also choose to go into the armed forces for a career and get the bonus of being sexuality assaulted and having it brushed under the rug. But you can work.

You say I control my body ………. I am beyond thankful that you have the luxury of being able to say this and haven’t suffered being abused at the hands of a loved one having your childhood ripped from you or to have someone decide that they have the right to take your body simply because they want to. I honestly hope and pray you and your daughters will be able to go through the rest of your life being able to say this as it leaves the deepest scars changes you forever.

You say I can defend myself…….   Well I can and have over and over, I defended myself as I was bending over washing the table in my church and one of the men felt he had the right to run his hand up my back, I defended myself at work on many occasions when my coworkers felt they had the right to slap me on the butt, run their hand up my thigh or slowly brush against my breast when putting something in my arms.  I have stood up to my boss when leaning over his desk to look at something on the computer only to have a male employee came up and stroked my back and I told him to keep his hands off me only to get a dirty look from my boss whom I looked in the eye and said no one touches me without my permission.  You say you can defend yourself I am glad truly I am, I am glad you are strong I am glad you are secure but there are many who are not and I for one will not leave them to fend for themselves or fight alone I will stand in the gap I will make changes so my daughter and granddaughter and even for your daughters whom I do not know so that they will not have to endure this kind of treatment.

You say…. I can defend my family.   May this always be true for you, may your children never know what it feels like to be bystanders of watching you being beaten and bloodied by your partner in life may they never know the deepest pit of helplessness watching you crumpled on the floor helpless as he walks out the door with a disgusted look on his face as he passes you.   

You say…… there is nothing stopping me to do anything in this world but MYSELF……. I will try to remember that when I am reading the next article on human sex trafficking and slavery in our country.  You see i believe that determination can get you very far but I am not blind to the struggles that others go through. I really hope that these never affect your life.

You say….. I do not blame my circumstances or problems on anything other than my own choices or even that sometimes in life, we don't always get what we want. I take responsibility for myself……….. I am glad that you do not have a clue of what it is like to overcome molestation, rape, emotional abuse or maybe extreme poverty etc.  Some circumstances or problems we make our selves I agree some you get no choice in and it takes a great deal of work to overcome.

You say ….I am a mother, a daughter, a wife, a sister, a friend. I am not held back in life but only by the walls I choose to not go over which is a personal choice. I agree with this it is the same for those this letter was admonishing. Don’t worry we will leave the ladders we built to overcome those walls for you when you’re ready.

You say Quit blaming ……… While I believe that we are to take responsibility for our actions and not let the actions of others excuse poor decisions or behaviors of our own, I will not pretend that there isn’t inequality in our country or double standards, I will not turn a blind eye to those to those whom have been crushed by others and tell them they didn’t work hard enough.

You say Take responsibility……. You assume that others that think differently than you do not just as they do you maybe it’s time for both sides to look in the mirror.

You say if you want to speak, do so. But do not expect for me, a woman, to take you seriously wearing a pink va-jay-jay hat on your head and screaming profanities and bashing men ……….. There are extremes on both sides and we seem to judge/bash each as a group some wear the pink cat hats (haven’t seen the Va j ones myself) some wear crosses some bash men some bash women no one is the winner here both are just banging Gongs.

You say…….. If you have beliefs, and speak to me in a kind matter, I will listen. But do not expect for me to change my beliefs to suit yours. Respect goes both ways…………. Finally a truth.

You say…….. If you want to impress me, especially in regards to women, then speak on the real injustices and tragedies that affect women in foreign countries that do not that the opportunity or means to have their voices heard……… Here is your list.

Saudi Arabia, women can't drive, no rights and must always be covered. China and India, infantcide of baby girls.

Afghanistan, unequal education rights. Democratic Republic of Congo, where rapes are brutal and women are left to die, or HIV infected and left to care for children alone. Mali, where women can not escape the torture of genital mutilation. Pakistan, in tribal areas where women are gang raped to pay for men's crime.

Guatemala, the impoverished female underclass of Guatemala faces domestic violence, rape and the second-highest rate of HIV/AIDS after sub-Saharan Africa. An epidemic of gruesome unsolved murders has left hundreds of women dead, some of their bodies left with hate messages.

Well there are some of us who think we need to clean up our own back yard before we start telling other countries to clean up theirs.

 I suggest you reasearch Iran in the 1960 – 1978  (for women)  you will see that they dressed pretty much like we did. Were able to go to college and Drove cars and had established several right’s that is until a religious take over…..  You talk of Rape our country is rampant in rapes over 300,000 of (12 and older) a year with the perpetrator often getting a slap on the hands while the woman is degraded and shamed for everything from how she dressed talked etc ……. Female genital mutilation I am guessing that you are not aware that this is going on in our country and has actually doubled in occurrences in the last few years. News week did an article on it a while back I am sure its easy to find.  Women being murdered in the UsA by domestic violence average of 3 a day.

I suggest that before you start touting about voices being heard in other countries you look at ours, do you even have any idea how much human trafficking goes on in this country?  Here is a link if you are truly interested in those who are suffering on our on land.  https://polarisproject.org/facts

Last but not least you’re finishing statement …. (So when women get together in AMERICA and whine they don't have equal rights and march in their clean clothes, after eating a hearty breakfast, and it's like a vacation away that they have paid for to get there)  

If Standing up for our rights and or change is whining then so be it you can call me a whiner, you expect me to feel bad because I will fight oppression, corruption or brutality in clean clothes you will have to wait a very long time you see I haven’t lost site that it is by the very grace of God that I have these things or that there are so many who do not, I will not apologize for taking a stand to help those who cannot fight. I personally find it admirable that many took their vacation time and gave it up to try to make a difference for all,  it’s called sacrificing  and for most was something they had probably worked a year for.

You say …This WOMAN does not support it…….. Well that is the difference between us I support your right to say your piece to not march and to ignore or not be aware of what is going on in this beautiful land of ours and to be able to point out injustices in other countries to make yourself feel better about ours own shameful behavior,  I sincerely hope it brings you peace, I support that you have a right to your way of life and what it means to be a woman to you, you do not have to go out and try to change things  or to stop injustice or to make sure that our rights that were so hard fought for by our Mothers and grandmothers and great grandmothers are not lost.  But I will and I will not feel bad because you are offended I will not apologize because you do not like it, but most of all I will not begrudge you and your daughters or granddaughters to reap the benefits of my prayers, sweat, tears and work to make this a better world. Because in the end we are all sisters and we do this not for ourselves. 

Family

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Poems by Mary Nagy : 7 / 281

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A Family Divided

Once more we talk about it.
How sad it's all become.
No matter how we look at it
this family is not one.

They say it shouldn't matter.
Who needs them after all?
But, please explain the pain I feel
even though I've got it all.

I see my pain and emptiness
like a hollowed out old tree...
It may seem to be standing tall
but, it's empty just like me.

There's such a contradiction
to my entire life.
I'm happy and fulfilled
being a mother and a wife.

What about 'a sister'
and 'a daughter'...how about that?
These are roles I was born to play.
Why can't I? Tell me that.

A family divided
that's what we've grown to be.
I've got mine and you've got yours
but we have no family tree. 

Mary Nagy

who is that woman in the Mirror , getting old isn't for the weak of heart.

Well all of a sudden i look around and it's 2015  and my copper colored hair is almost white ................. seriously when the heck did that happen ?  In the last 5 years I've been through menopause and had two  major accidents at work and one at home and a car wreck and a divorce and they have taken a major toll on my physical and mental health.  I've a gain of almost 100 pounds in four years.  
 I've literately been in pain  for 5 years and it has been a real struggle to keep my head up, it started with an accident at work with major damage to the muscles in my neck that held up my head ......... I was at my prime,  I felt great, I was working out 5 days a week lifting weights riding bikes, hiking, walking 5 miles a day then BAM major work injury tore all the muscles in my neck that held up my head.... then had to fight the city for care that was a nightmare two lawyers against me, the girl who was on her own,  freshly separated her husband with no money ... well they blamed it on my carpel tunnel surgery from three years previous,  I fought them and got a few more months therapy, no sooner did i finished with that then I rolled the lawn tractor at home BAM major head injury .... short term memory bye bye lol, then the car wreck on my Birthday a delivery buss side swiped the cab we were in last year............ nerve damage in my hips,   then in August of that year Blew my Knee at work................... Okay God you have my attention just please give me the brains to figure out what your trying to say lol
Now its 2015 and I am going to be 55 years old .............. seriously 55 years old wow who the heck is that my grandma  in the mirror ..... I get up in the morning and I feel the same, although I am a little slower and not as strong as i used to be, I go to work and put in an ten hour day working out side with a group of 15 guys and now two women, trimming trees and shrubs, mowing, edging but my brain can not comprehend that im not 25 anymore, I push and push to keep up the same level of work but its getting harder and harder.  This year I finally started taking my two 15 minute breaks during my ten hour shift and it still feels weird to do, but i realize that ive got to take care if this machine called my body.
I've gone from young farm girl , to vivacious teen to young married woman, to mother of 3 birth children to mother 5, 2 God given love babies To Nina my most blessed role of all. Its funny I would not trade my role of Nina for the youth of yesterday. I will embrace  this wrinkled soul broken down body and some day my ashes to ashes  so that I might experience these years as a nina and a slightly wiser mother to my children and hopefully a kinder sister , Daughter, wife and friend.

religion, politics,relationship,love,

Religion............. politics..........Relationship................The Church .........Brothers and sisters of Christ.............

.Ive pondered how to even write about My Love /Hate relationship with this subject. It is strange how you can love something so much and loath it too
.
My personal walk has been interesting with ups and downs,many rivers to cross usually the human type. When i first came to the church i was very naive, I just assumed that if a person was a church going person they were good and kind and loving lol , What i found was regular human beings and a great deal of the time not much different then what i had seen out in the "lost" world, although there were some beautiful examples of Christ i did meet that had a genuine  love for all of Gods people............they say that we are to be the hands and feet and face of God, meaning that others will often come to know Christ through his people and their actions as we minister to them, weather teaching, sharing, a kindness shown when someone is hurting, food when one is hungry and so on. We need more people like that, I need to be more like that. There is a definite lacking in our houses of God for these type of people these days.

It seems to me that body of Christ has become more political then loving and politically the church has been brought down to three subjects Homosexuality,Abortion & Guns and are politically controlled like sheep going to their own slaughter. I do not understand the statement I keep hearing from some people of faith especially the ones whom seem to live to be upfront in the media  , we are going to take our nation back, then spouting about this or that political leader, or a law we are trying to vote in.....seriously  by how we vote? the very concept smacks of lack of faith. Do they not believe God can move a  heart, that he the one whom formed the very world we live in can not direct his world, maybe its because if we focus on others we will not have to examine our own lives,now that could become uncomfortable, then we just might want to step away from being the big almighty judge and be more compassionate to others, could it be that the world doesn't
understand this God we keep telling them about because they see so little of him in us in the way we live our lives. I often wonder have we even considered that our nation our families are hurting and continue to be "lost" because as people of faith we have been sitting back in our pews for years more worried about how many will show up for the next potluck or luncheon fellowship then those whom are hurting, hungry, and spiritually wounded. Where did the Love & compassion of Christ go in our hearts for others, how did it become them against us and with that attitude how can we expect them to be open to the message of hope that we are to bring.
Which brings me back to my love hate relationship with the church............. on one hand I can not stand what so many churches have become devoid of love and faith in an amazing powerful God and what he can do,on the other hand I have seen God in so many ways thru  a church that has people whom love him and love all of his people not just the ones that fit nice and tidy in a little church box and i crave to worship beside them, to be his hands and feet again to lift up my hands in praise and sing out his name. So i guess i will continue to wander thru the dessert till he leads me to my new home,

Just a little Laughter

Its funny the older i get the more i just choose to let go of stuff whether its plans that have gone awry or hurtful angry people....... its not that i don't get upset, hurt or irritated I have just found that it takes way to much Time and energy to keep my feathers in a fluff.  It seems more and more I shake my head and just laugh lol
Having lived through a few years and more than one or two personal blunders myself, which I believe has made me a better and more compassionate human being ( my children will be stunned to find out im not perfect LOL ) When people in my circle do something stupid, hurtful or cruel I try to understand where they are coming from that may have led to her/ his behavior, that doesn't mean I give them a free pass to wreck and ruin in the lives of my family  (Meaning  My Love, My children, Norseman & his Bride) as I will almost always try to discuss an issue so that its not repeated or to let them know its unacceptable.
This old lady just doesn't let it get to her like when i was younger, plans change, things don't always go as i have planned and that is okay maybe God has something better for me. When it comes to unhealthy people or people who make poor decisions  I think that it comes down to a point in our lives that we finally learn that we can only control our behavior and how we react to those around us and circumstances, we can choose not to allow others to rob us of the joy in our lives.  So I choose to laugh things off shake my head and move on down the road.

New Years come & go

This is a little late but that is just the way it goes,  So it seems 2014 has flown by filled with work, family, Friends, Laughter & health issues. On the work front I got a new partner this year,  Robin what a blessing such a willing and hard worker and just a blast to work with, as a person whom normally enjoys working alone Ive been surprised how much I enjoy working with her, could be that we are always laughing.
 Unfortunately  2014 was hard on the health front for my husband and I , another cancer scare for my Love more hospital visits, but we ended that on a good note with good news.  I was injured on the job this summer and then re-injured again in the fall now fighting my work place for the surgery needed to repair the injury, could end my career with the city if I do not get my knee repaired.....

On the family front it has been a wonderful year I have an amazing husband we just celebrated our 3rd anniversary, our multi generational home has really settled into a peaceful/chaotic house full of Love and the sound of Tinks laughter.
We have an amazing new woman in our lives Miss Amber, she is our son Jacobs girlfriend such a beautiful sweet soul and a joy to be around. It has been so nice to see the joy she has brought into his life.
Some of the biggest changes have been watching Tink grow this year as she turned 4 years old, she has gotten taller and can carry on quite the conversation and has started pre-school and ballet. She is one busy girl and keeps us all on our toes.
Friends and laughter............... our Taco Tuesday crew,  We are incredibly blessed to have such a great group of people to spend time with BBQ's,  Diners and Mile stone birthdays then our regular Taco Tuesdays get together.
Which brings us to the start of a new year Tree comes down the day after New Years, house cleaned, Great news for My Love on the health front, My month Long Vacation woo hoo, getting ready for our Anniversary Beach vacation.  So 2015 is looking pretty darn good.

Family/Food/Love

I am at home alone, very unusual lol and i am sitting here thinking about family, My ex husband Kevin's twin brother ( i hate that title....... ex ..... I wish there was a different way of saying it, as he deserves better then that) Kieth is in town the boys are going bow hunting, now these boys love hunting together and have come and gone to each others houses for years to hunt as a team. Which brings me to this week,  the boys are getting together for the big hunt and its time to make the family special diner's (aka)  Gramie's meatballs and Lavon's treats,  so the call comes (text) first for the Norwegian meatballs and gravy............. yes......  yes it will be my pleasure to make Gramies special dish for you boys,  so off to the store my husband and I go to get the supplies (yes I have an amazing husband who shops with me) we gather all the supplies lean burger, my favorite sausage, cream, real butter and so on, the best ingredients ( yes it makes a difference) then I remember a special cookie recipe that Lavon used to make for Kieth at Christmas time and I gather the ingredients for that also to surprise my brother in law, okay... okay.... technically he is my ex brother in law according to the world, but to me he and his children will always be my family as will Kevin and the extended family.
Anyways back to cooking for the boys, I have to say it is such a joy cooking old family recipes,  I started with the Norwegian Meat balls and gravy and the special cookie recipe, you know there is something about cooking old family recipes that connect you with the past and the ones you love especially those whom have passed on, they live on with the traditions and memories of the food your cooking.
Grammies Norwegian meat balls bring back so many memories of that wonderful woman, I think about her every time I make them, her laughter, her smiling eyes, her sense of humor, oh how I loved that woman. I so loved sitting and talking to her listening to her stories as we drank coffee and ate cookies together ( she always had homemade cookies ready for guest that she served with her strong dark coffee ) she was a striking woman pure white hair & sky blue eyes, i would sit listen her tell stories of her family growing up in North Dakota often while I was going through her homemade cook book searching for the family treasured recipes, I would watch as her sky blue eyes would twinkle as she laughed and talk of the farm life, her siblings.
The boys loved the family treat of meatballs and it wasn't long that i received a thank you text from them, having enjoyed cooking for the boys so much i asked if there was anything else the would like to have, and i started listing recipe after recipe of their mama's and Gramie's special dishes............ so now My daughter and I will be shopping tomorrow for ingredients to make a couple more special dishes for the boys before their hunting season is done and Kieth head Home.
I feel so blessed to be part of this wonderful family and it just filled my heart with such joy to be the gate keeper of these loved family recipes, passed down from generation to generation, Grandmother, Mother in Law to me. Now it is my job to pass it on to the next generation................... what an honor.

The little plaid bag

                        

When I was a young newly married woman my husband and I would split our Christmas day between his dad & moms and my dad & moms, we always went to his mamas first thing in the morning for gifts and then an early diner then on to my dad’s for a late diner, My Daddy was always so wonderful about doing the dinner later so that we could be there. I think he knew it would have broken my heart if I couldn't have been there with my siblings for Christmas.

First thing on Christmas morning we would get up and open our gifts to each other then head to Kevin’s moms to hang out with the family, later on when we had our babies we would open gifts together and then have a little breakfast………………which later on morphed into breakfast sausage casserole, cinnamon[Jc1]  rolls, orange juice, milk and coco before heading to Lavon’s to open gifts and have diner.

As time went by we had three beautiful Children, sold the little house in town and moved into the big house up on the hill and so the change began……… the in-laws aged and my daddy who had done so much to help us get our house set up on the hill had died, so many Christmases had come and gone so very quickly and then the Christmas celebration came to rest in our hands ……….. Well kind of.

Kevin’s mama Lavon was the matriarch of the family, she was a very intelligent & strong woman and to be honest a little intimidating at first (I am not easily intimidated) and she ruled over the holidays (with love) ever since I had come to know the family.  Lavon had a gift for entertaining, her home was always beautifully decorated, I absolutely loved her Christmas tree with white lights and white decorations and glass it was just beautiful, she was also an amazing cook there would be all kinds of homemade cookies, fudge, pies and then there was the Norwegian yummy's fattigmann, krumkake, lefse  She also  had certain dishes that she made for each holiday that the family had come to love and expect.

  I remember the first year that Christmas was to be at our house, I was very nervous we were responsible for the family diner talk about pressure …….. Well that’s what I thought anyways till mama Kellogg showed up that morning with her magic Mary Poppins plaid picnic bag, I have never seen so much amazing food come out of a picnic bag, we had the turkey in the oven and potatoes prepared for boiling, she comes in and starts pulling out an endless parade of goodies out of the amazing picnic bag seriously the most glorious bounty of food, green bean casserole, stuffing, pies, cookies, lefsa, fudge,  potato rolls, pistachio salad, veggies for a veggie tray and later as Johnnie got older she included homemade baked mac and cheese and her favorite napkins,  it was like the bag had no bottom and she would just reach down and pull out more and more goodies from a bottomless well of goodness. This went on until her last Christmas with us, she was really struggling with her health that year, I could tell it had really taken a toll on her as she had to sit a lot and take breaks, as we were sitting taking a little break and having coffee she shared that it bothered her that she couldn't do the things she so loved to do, I could see the sadness in her face and I came to realize that for her cooking and all the hoopla wasn't just for the holiday  it was an expression of love for her children. That last year she still had made so many of her dishes in her little apartment and filled that magic bag with so many delightful treats, I know it had to of taken her hours if not days to prepare everything as she couldn't stand for long periods of time without becoming exhausted, it is amazing what the power of love can help you accomplish.   That was our last Christmas with her, her legacy lives on in our memories and traditions we are passing on to her grandchildren.

She is so very much missed and I will always remember her magic red plaid picnic bag.

---

A Christmas Carol

                                                        

One of the great things about Christmas is................................. Christmas Movies !!!!!!! My all time favorite Christmas Movie is the Christmas Carol which i several versions, I actually collect the movies and books, Now i love a lot of different Christmas movies and have several different types, Elf, White Christmas, its a wonderful life, a Muppet Christmas Carol, A Christmas story, Miracle on 34th street 1947 & 1994,  Santa clause, the nightmare before Christmas, National Lampoon Christmas vacation, how the Grinch stole Christmas, Jingle all the way, The polar express, etc.

Back to the Christmas carol it is hands down my one of my favorite's,  Jim Carey The Grinch close second, I love how someone who is so lost so low that you doubt his his very humanity can be brought back from the edge of destruction, redeemed if you will. ( the Alistair Sims version actually talks of redemption and the son of God) There is just something about people getting second chances, rising from the ashes  like a phoenix becoming whole again.
I have watched the George C Scott Christmas Carol so much that I now look at the back ground while it is playing looking at the books on the shelves and various other props, even people walking around in the back ground, how the rooms are decorated and so on to.get a better feel for the era in which the movie is set in.
At one point in my life my children and Kevin had banned me from watching Christmas shows until the day after thanksgiving ( I may or my not have watched them a lot lol) now i watch them all year long especially if it has been a bad week or a particularly difficult time as the always lift my spirits.

I now have a Grinch partner which is really nice as I haven't had Christmas movie partners since Sarah & Wendy grew up had children and got married, I used to love it when my Girls would snuggle up on the couches with hot coffee and start our Christmas Movie marathon.
My Grand Baby Tink is a huge fan of everything Grinchy and we watch it several times a month often with a stuffed Grinch in the bed with us as we snuggle together to watch our green friend.
This year I find my self in a quandary all my movies accept the Grinch are packed away in preparing to sell our house so i am with out all my Christmas shows. Hummmmmmm Might have to order a few in DVD since all my original are in VHS. Seem's reasonable to me.
         
                                           

Christmas Shopping AKA waking on hot coals.

Well it is that time of the year again and as much as i love Christmas and giving of gifts, stuffing stockings and so on........... I HATE GOING SHOPPING UUUGGGG.  I know ,I know  kind of an oxymoron type of thing lol.    As far back as I can remember I haven't enjoyed shopping I find it stressful to go to town and be set on shopping for pretty much any thing,  whether it be grocery shopping, clothes shopping, or house shopping it stresses me out, but the bane of my existence is shopping for the holidays with masses of people uugg,

First and foremost I absolutely hate crowds this runs in my family as several of my siblings are the same way about crowds,  I like my space and do not enjoy people brushing up against me or bumping into me,more then once Ive been standing in front of a shelf looking at a product only to have some woman come up and stand so close to me i can hear her breathing, then there is the fact people smell! Seriously I am not sure what is worse the person who's hygiene schedule is lets just say non existent or the man/woman whom seem to tripled dipped them selves in cologne/perfume that morning you can smell them five minutes before they show up, both are an assault the human kind

 I usually pick up things through out the year when I am out and about doing other errands or work on making something so that by the time things start to swing into holiday mode i am pretty close to being done. But there is inevitability a few gifts i need to pick up.  This is where my husbands love for shopping comes in handy lol,  it is so funny He loves being around people and crowds well the more the merrier for this man , he is literally the ying to my shopping yang.  The man walks into the store focused on his mission list in hand while scanning over the isles (it helps being 6'6 ) for any great deals, up and down the isles we go picking up this and that all along my Love is chatting with different whom ever he encounters often complete strangers............ or I should say strangers to me, for my love everyone is a potential friend they just haven't been introduced yet lol

So it was no surprise  that my Love and I  ended up this Saturday in Portland to pick up a gift for one of our Children at a very busy box store and then we went on to target for some stocking stuffer's (two stores is usually my limit unless there is a shot of whiskey involved then i might make a third )  so star bucks in hand big girl panties on and holding tightly to my husbands hand lol  in we go to compare prices and see if they will honor an ad via my phone (that my friend and Co Mama Dana gave me) to the tune of 70.00 dollar savings,  My husband reads all the spect's on the said item (something I wouldn't thought to do) while chatting with sales person AKA new friend lol making sure that it has all the same qualities of the product we had spent the day looking for, after a time of chatting with various people and research we did make the purchase.

I find it funny with my disdain for shopping that i have a daughter that lives for it, i mean this child would love to shop everyday. She at least has gotten one shopping trait from her mama she doesn't pay full price  Hummm .....................maybe i can bribe her with star bucks to go stocking stuffer shopping for me for her brothers...................................LOL

LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW

We got our first snow today woo hoo,  Why yes I am one of those people I LOVE SNOW !  I actually look forward to that beautiful white cotton candy that covers every thing in a thick white carpet, it makes even the bleakest most barren landscapes look amazing, there is just something magical about snow and how it changes every thing from the way it dresses up the trees, the Douglas Firs look so elegant in their thick white coats and the Vine Maples and Alders with their delicate branches coated with a fine layer of snow like fine jewelry kind of look ladies getting ready for a fancy ball, mix this with icicles hanging off branches and the eaves of your house and it is winter perfection.
I can remember as a child the excitement when Cis would wake us kids up and take us outside in the middle of the night to make snow angels , we would lay on our backs moving our arms and legs frantically to make the wings with our skinny lil arms... lol.   If  I close my eyes I can still feel the crisp air on my skin and see my breath as i looked up into the heavens watching as the snow was coming down on us.  My own children have been waken more then once to their mama coming into their rooms at night to excitedly whisper look out your window its snowing and yes they have been taken out to play in the snow at night.
 One of our favorite things as kids growing up on the little farm in Castle Rock was a treat my Dad & Mom would make for us when we got a good snow, it was snow ice cream, they took some of our fresh jersey cream, vanilla, snow  and sugar all together (sometimes adding food coloring ) we would get big heaping bowls, now you have to remember this was back when you didn't have junk food in our homes like we do now so for a family of nine this was quite an event.

When our children were growing up we always tried to make snow days special, we built igloos, snowmen, and one time we built a very large dragon and took spray bottles with food coloring  spraying it green with red eyes, the children loved when they were sitting in the living room snuggled up in their blankets on the couch later that evening when everyone was getting off work and they would watch as traffic would slow to see their works of art.  On snow days I would bake cookies or Kevin would make cinnamon roles which we served up with hot chocolate, more then once i cooked off a turkey when we had big snow so that when the kids and their friends came in to get their clothes dried and to get warm we would feed them, then they would watch a movie kick back then out they would go again sometimes with socks on their little hands when we didn't have enough gloves to go around.

Last year was a brand new time of snow memories for me, it was my first year playing in the snow with our Grand baby Tink  and it was wonderful! I think she actually may just love snow as much as her Nina, she sledded for hours and tried so hard to keep up with the big kids, her wonderful cousins Nicholas and Antonio were there to take her up and down the hills on their sled, afterwards Tink her mama and I made a snow turtle which we sprayed green with food coloring.

So today was our first day of snow for 2014 , i an full grown adult started the day before two AM doing snow checks, finally around nine AM Tink, Sissy and I were standing out in the yard Tink in her Jammies rubber boots, Sissy sweats and slip on shoes and I in my big ole robe and husbands shoes trying to catch snow flakes on our tongues, yes God is good and this life He so graciously has given me is wonderful.

Christmas

How do i even start a page on Christmas, how do i convey the sheer joy wonderment and excitement i feel of the up coming season.  I love the music playing in the house as we bake, my favorite CD being Bing Crosby & David Bowie, i just love the rich tones of their voices blending together bringing the ageless Christmas songs to life,
Then there is the decorating.............. at no other time of year do i get to splash my favorite color red around the house, we have red and white plaid pillows with a matching red and white plaid blanket combined with various other Christmas themed pillows, several varieties of wall hangings with red incorporated in them and of course our  giant wreath that hangs on the dining room wall that i each year usually with candy canes and various other charming trinkets.
 Then there is the snowman collection that i haven't even counted for years, but there are dozens dressed in reds greens golds, lady snowmen, gentlemen snowmen, baby snowmen, families. some are even dressed in fir, they are made from every thing ....cotton, wood, resin, glass. felt and wool most are gifts that i received for my birthdays or Christmas from loved ones so each year, when i gently unwrap them i tend remember the loved one whom gave it to me .
Christmas cookie baking oh my, we start baking right after thanksgiving making dozens of cookies Santa's whiskers, Russian tea cakes, chocolate crinkles, peanut butter, sugar cookies, thumb prints with Hershey kisses, date pinwheels, shortbread, choc,late covered pretzels, chocolate dipped pretzel sticks,  chocolate dipped peanut butter cookies, peanut clusters and so on , i think you have the idea lol.  this is a tradition that was started shortly after I was married for the first time, as it wasn't something i grew up doing,  it was Kevin's grandma " Gramie" who got me started with the Christmas cookies.
Some of my best memories of Christmas baking, is of time i spent with Gramie at her kitchen table with coffee and her home made cookies.  I think the only thing that my dad made was popcorn balls with nuts (which to this day is one of my favorite things in the world) and fudge and my mom made the pies my favorite being mincemeat pie (YUM).
Then there is the Christmas tree, there is nothing like going out and cutting your own tree down bringing it home and setting it up........ Christmas music playing  a plate of cookies to snack on with hot buttered rum coffee , the smell of a fresh cut fir tree is amazing and i am always sad to see it go on January 1st.
Decorating the tree is such a joy, I loved it as a child just as I do now. I still remember when we had real lead tinsel which hung down perfectly straight and glistened with the reflections of the Christmas lights the new tinsel is awful and i don't use it, Now I am not one of those perfectionist decorators i really like more of a Victorian vibe,  the more the better all types of decorations and stuffed creatures and lights oh how i love tons of lights half white and half colored mixed together.................. the reflection on the ornaments is amazing.
One of my favorite things is stuffing stockings for my children and love ones, I find Little treasures all year long and put them aside to wrap and stuff in the stocking on Christmas eve. The first time i can remember getting a stocking I was around 7 years old it had a little red elf peeking out of the top of the stocking looking down at me when i awoke in the morning, down below the elf were all kinds of little treasures a cupie doll, chocolates and various little trinkets.
 I love giving gifts homemade or bought never been comfortable receiving gifts find it very stressful to unwrap gifts in front of people. I am so looking forward to watching Tink unwrap gifts this year the joy on her face the excitement that we will hear in her voice as she gets her stocking, that will be my favorite thing.



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voting

well today is the day our local elections are being held, we also have mail in which i love as i didn't have to take time off to vote, I would if needed but thank goodness i don't have to as our state doesn't seem  to be as corrupt as some of these red states trying to curtail people voting.   ( yes every dollar counts when your paying for collage for your kids)

It is funny the older i get the more important it seems to me to vote,  not for me or what i deem right or wrong but for a time when i will be gone for my children and grand children, for our natural resources so we will have a healthy environment for the next generations, and for our rights especially my female children and grand children.

I have to say that i wish we had more of a selection to vote from, not a fan of the republican party (was a republican for 25 years or so) not a fan of the democratic  party, hence the reason i went independent about 6 or 7 years ago. It just doesn't seem like anyone is for the people anymore................but i refuse to give up i will continue to vote !

Morning Coffee

Every since i can remember i have loved coffee, the first real memory i have of drinking that beautiful amber liquid was when i was around eight years old, we lived in the tiny white house next to my Auntie Willy's,  there was a large silver coffee pot with a spigot that i would go up to and fill what ever cup i had. I seriously doubt that was the first time that I had coffee as my daddy was giving my babies sips from his coffee cup as soon as they were able to toddle up to him on their own two feet (he had more cream and sugar then coffee lol )

I have found that there is nothing more relaxing then sitting wrapped up in a warm blanket with my long hair tied up in a knot to keep it out of my face as the wind blows up the valley and across our deck.   I love watching the mist and fog rise off the river as the sky brightens and starts to glisten off the water,  listening to the sound of the birds as the world starts to wake up usually with a magazine sitting in my lap and a warm cup in hand,  sipping my coffee with that creamy vanilla creamer swirling around in my cup.   In the winter I love to bring my steaming hot cup of coffee back to our big soft warm bed while i have old movies playing in the back ground with garden or Christmas magazines scattered around me planning the holidays to come and our summer garden and flowers until i hear the tiny feet of My grand daughter scampering across the wood floors heading to our bedroom, I know in moments her tiny chilly body will be snuggled up against me and we will snuggle and talk and i just might give her a sip of my coffee.  :-)

A piece of my heart

I can remember the first time we went to see dad and my new mom for our summer time visit at the new house in Castle Rock,  First thing you notice was the crushed red rock driveway that meandered up beside the house and curved behind the house where the cars were parked facing the small white pump shed that matched the white two story house, next to the pump shed was a grey brick foundation with a wood plank top that covered our hand dug well. So funny when you are a small child everything looked so big, i can still remember stepping into the back porch for the first time it seemed big even with a washer and dryer large chest freezer and double sinks.  Our porch had wood floors and a wainscoting type of ceiling, down at the end of the porch was a small window with a white frame around it which let in plenty of light and another larger one over the sink that looked into the kitchen. the window was next to a small door that led into a small country kitchen with the typical 1960's linoleum & turquoise cabinets, Our kitchen had a small arched door that led into what seemed a large living room with an old oil stove to keep us warm on cold winter nights and two large picture windows and a big front door. Behind the front door was this little built in counter top , a phone table that our old ivory rotary dial phone sat on. This big old house had 4 bedrooms (with no closets in bedrooms) one bathroom with a big ole tub and no shower for 7 people,  one big closet in the hall up stairs and one down stairs in the hall by the bath room , our parents did have a tiny one under the stairwell in their room........ well really more of a cubby hole. We had a very large front yard with a large Honey locus tree which stood close to the house and a set of three small Honey locus trees planted in a triangle just a further out. Between the driveway and the house we had a holly tree , lilac and three rhododendrons  on the opposite side of the house was a crab apple with the tastiest little red apples and a green Gage plumb tree.  When we first moved into the house the property was only partially fenced and that was just the field behind the house,  we didn't have a fence around the yard, our only fence was a hedge of giant wild yellow iris that us kids loved to play in.
The big field behind the house was filled with amazing,old growth timber, hazel nut trees, vine maples, dog woods, big leaf maples , native wild Salal plants in abundance with their white flowers
and edible blue berries.As we explored the land we discovered so many treasures, there were two station wagons that the wheels had been taken off of that we played in, we spent hours pretending to drive on great adventures (my sister pattie always insisting on driving ) lol ,  there was Pattie land a huge root wad from a tree that had fallen over years before its giant root snaking up into the sky perfect for making forts out of. Then there was the horse tree, this tree grew straight up for about four feet then went vertical for about three feet and then straight back up,  on the opposite side of the field was the polly wog pond and the orchard, oh how we loved our own personal play land. The memory of the scorched grass under my feet while running across the field, the beautiful white flowers of the dog woods, the giant maple leaves that fell to the ground in the fall along with all the hazelnuts that ripened that we would gather. Yes this place will always have a piece of my heart.

Tinkerbell

As long as i can remember i wanted to be a grandma, kind of funny as i had no plans to have children lol. Thankfully i changed my mind and had three children and two of the heart. My ex husband and i were kind of late starting a family for our generation we were 24 years old when our first child a beautiful boy arrived then 4 years later our princess followed by our golden baby boy.   As the years went by I watched as many of my siblings (all younger then me) became grandparents as did many of my friends. Then right before my 50th birthday i found out that i was going to be a grandma seriously talk about the most amazing gift in the world ! When Tink finally arrived the world became a more beautiful place a magical place, it is amazing how much joy one tiny human being can bring into a world.
 I watch as she runs through the house on her tippy toes her blonde hair bouncing, her bright beautiful eyes shining as she sings chase me chase me kissy monster to my love, their laughter is like music to my soul i cant help but smile as i watch that giant man of mine chase her always letting her escape so she can dash away to sing out to him again to chase her.
Each day when i come home from work i here NINA! and the fun begans, there is an unspoken ritual i get my work boots off and head for the shower, as i start to shower i will hear the shower door being quietly slid open as i turn  there she is a small nude tink slipping into the shower with me (dont know what its like to shower alone anymore lol) so now there are two heads to shampoo two wash rags with body soap and so on, with the arrival of tink even our bath room has changed there are toys in the tub, toys in the shower & the bath towels they have changed they now come with bunny ears & kitty cat ears. Then it is on to wrestling on our big bed while i attempt to catch glimpses of my TV shows all the while shrieks of laughter drown out the sound. Yes im in love with Tinkerbell she has changed our world for the better and has brought so much magic to our lives and i wouldnt change a thing.  

Music in me.

I love music, I have loved music every since i can remember. When i was young my mom would always have music on in the house and in the car when we went anywhere, i can remember just like it was yesterday dancing with her in the yard the record player in the house with speakers on the front porch all 7 of us kids dancing to the song dragging the line or mellow yellow around her. I can still feel the warmth of the dappled sun that burst through the leaves and the beautiful white flower's that smelled of pepper, oh the sun falling on us through the leaves of the locus trees felt amazing , I can see my mom as she tosses her head back laughing she was so beautiful with her shoulder length chestnut hair dancing off her shoulders as her long tan legs bouncing along as she showed us how to dance the pony, It is amazing the feeling of your bare feet dancing, bouncing on the grass the sun on your shoulders the laughter of your brother's and sisters echoing through the yard. 

Music was such a big part of our lives growing up  I can remember weekends with my dad and his group practicing in our living room, there was Daryle who played guitar and Cheryl who was beautiful inside and out she had such an amazing voice ................. music everywhere in our home. Then there was weekends where dad would get everything set up and we would all sing together, little church in the dale, d.i.v.o.r.c.e , bony maroni, song after song we would sing out of Dads big brown song book with our child voices,  except Becky oh my her voice was beautiful. 
It is funny how life brings things to come around in a full circle, many years have gone by and  my Daddy is gone and my mama is close to 70  and i am a bit older.................... 54 to be exact lol and i still do not have an ounce of musical talent in me, but here i am on my way to Portland with my daughter and grand daughter to pick up my sweet husband from the airport, we have Taylor Swift blasting from the radio all three of us singing together and it is magical. I am blessed. 

Cooking for one

I have wanted to try this for a long time so here we go, no one but me at this time lol.

I am sitting in the house alone as i haven't been well :-( so needless to say im not out on this beautiful day. It is time for diner and i was pondering what to have ( not big on cooking) usually if its just me its a hot dog or a sandwich as it seems weird to cook for 1,  you see  I grew up on a small family farm in Castle rock Washington with 6 of my 9 siblings both parents working to keep us clothed and fed so cooking often fell on  my younger sister Pattie and I.  Not like the cooking most people do now days but everything from scratch and most often raised or grown on the farm, everything from farm fresh eggs to wonderful jersey cow milk (yes there is a difference lol)   so you could say i have been cooking a while. When i was 19  i married and went on to have 3 birth children and two children of my heart, my husband at the time was lets just say a slightly picky eater so i was still cooking large portions but with less variety. Later on I was very involved in cooking at our church often for large crowed's and really just got burned out.  Now i find myself older children grown husband away at work and there is just me so often................ which brought me to this point and Epiphany as some would say........... I used to love to cook and i love amazing food, i am sick of fast food & packaged food and it has dawned on me one person is no less important then 100 to cook for so with that i think at the ripe middle age of 54 I am going to start cooking again.