I Last
Night as I was on facebook there was a new Meme hitting the pages as I read it
thought how sad. while i do not agree with everything said or done during the march I completely support what it was for and about.
Then I considered well maybe these people have lived a more insulated life than
I. I knew I would respond but I wanted
to wait overnight and give it some thought as I didn’t want to hurt or demean
or put people down. The meme was basically
called :
I am not a
"disgrace to women" because I don't support the women's march.
You say that you do not feel that you are a second class
Citizen because you are a woman, I am happy for you I really truly am, I am glad that you haven’t had the experience of
not being paid less for doing the same job as a man or denied an application
for a job because it was a man job “pulling and burning brush” or that you haven’t
had to sit through an interview where the man interviewing you says “this is a
great job for a young man with a family” and walk out knowing you wouldn’t get
that job that had full benefits. You see
I have.
You say …… I do not
feel my voice is "not heard" because I am a woman. I do not feel I am
not provided opportunities in this life or in America because I am a woman. I
do not feel that I "don't have control of my body or choices" because
I am a woman. I do not feel like I am “not respected or undermined"
because I am a woman……….. Do you understand the fight that even gave you a
voice, have you not read about the women and men who fought for you to be able
to have rights. You didn’t have the right to use birth control even if you were
married until 1965--- women were not able to apply for a credit card until 1974
before that your husband to cosign , it wasn’t until 1978 that it became illegal to
fire a woman for being pregnant whether she was married or not. It wasn’t in
till 1973 that women could serve on jury duty in all 50 states. I am glad that you haven’t had to face these
struggles I am happy that you feel respected and have been spared the blood
sweat and tears.
You say I AM a woman …… Well so are those of us who stand up
and fight injustice and change that you get to enjoy the benefits of.
You say I can make my own choices…… That is wonderful but
there are many who have had some very important life decisions taken from them simply
because they are female weather you can acknowledge it or not.
You say I can speak and be heard……… I celebrate that where
you are and come from that this is the case, I do hope at some time you will be
able to see that hasn’t always been the case for women in this country.
You say I can VOTE……. Have you forgotten how you even
achieved that right? I do not and will
not forget the women’s suffrage parade as they called it then of 1913, where
over 8000 women marched, over 200 people were treated from being beaten by men
and police for marching for the right to vote . It took seven more years to
achieve that right.
You say you I can work if I want…… Yes you can you can also
expect to earn less in many cases, you can also expect to be able to climb the
ladder and become a CEO at a much lower rate than a man with the same or less education
and experience. You can also choose to
go into the armed forces for a career and get the bonus of being sexuality assaulted
and having it brushed under the rug. But you can work.
You say I control my body ………. I am beyond thankful that you
have the luxury of being able to say this and haven’t suffered being abused at
the hands of a loved one having your childhood ripped from you or to have
someone decide that they have the right to take your body simply because they
want to. I honestly hope and pray you and your daughters will be able to go
through the rest of your life being able to say this as it leaves the deepest
scars changes you forever.
You say I can defend myself……. Well I can and have over and over, I defended
myself as I was bending over washing the table in my church and one of the men
felt he had the right to run his hand up my back, I defended myself at work on
many occasions when my coworkers felt they had the right to slap me on the
butt, run their hand up my thigh or slowly brush against my breast when putting
something in my arms. I have stood up to
my boss when leaning over his desk to look at something on the computer only to
have a male employee came up and stroked my back and I told him to keep his
hands off me only to get a dirty look from my boss whom I looked in the eye and
said no one touches me without my permission.
You say you can defend yourself I am glad truly I am, I am glad you are
strong I am glad you are secure but there are many who are not and I for one
will not leave them to fend for themselves or fight alone I will stand in the
gap I will make changes so my daughter and granddaughter and even for your
daughters whom I do not know so that they will not have to endure this kind of
treatment.
You say…. I can defend my family. May this always be true for you, may your
children never know what it feels like to be bystanders of watching you being beaten
and bloodied by your partner in life may they never know the deepest pit of
helplessness watching you crumpled on the floor helpless as he walks out the
door with a disgusted look on his face as he passes you.
You say…… there is nothing stopping me to do anything in
this world but MYSELF……. I will try to remember that when I am reading the next
article on human sex trafficking and slavery in our country. You see i believe that determination can get
you very far but I am not blind to the struggles that others go through. I
really hope that these never affect your life.
You say….. I do not blame my circumstances or problems on
anything other than my own choices or even that sometimes in life, we don't
always get what we want. I take responsibility for myself……….. I am glad that
you do not have a clue of what it is like to overcome molestation, rape, emotional
abuse or maybe extreme poverty etc. Some
circumstances or problems we make our selves I agree some you get no choice in
and it takes a great deal of work to overcome.
You say ….I am a mother, a daughter, a wife, a sister, a
friend. I am not held back in life but only by the walls I choose to not go
over which is a personal choice. I agree with this it is the same for those
this letter was admonishing. Don’t worry we will leave the ladders we built to overcome
those walls for you when you’re ready.
You say Quit blaming ……… While I believe that we are to take
responsibility for our actions and not let the actions of others excuse poor
decisions or behaviors of our own, I will not pretend that there isn’t inequality
in our country or double standards, I will not turn a blind eye to those to those
whom have been crushed by others and tell them they didn’t work hard enough.
You say Take responsibility……. You assume that others that
think differently than you do not just as they do you maybe it’s time for both
sides to look in the mirror.
You say if you want to speak, do so. But do not expect for
me, a woman, to take you seriously wearing a pink va-jay-jay hat on your head
and screaming profanities and bashing men ……….. There are extremes on both
sides and we seem to judge/bash each as a group some wear the pink cat hats (haven’t
seen the Va j ones myself) some wear crosses some bash men some bash women no
one is the winner here both are just banging Gongs.
You say…….. If you have beliefs, and speak to me in a kind
matter, I will listen. But do not expect for me to change my beliefs to suit
yours. Respect goes both ways…………. Finally a truth.
You say…….. If you want to impress me, especially in regards
to women, then speak on the real injustices and tragedies that affect women in
foreign countries that do not that the opportunity or means to have their
voices heard……… Here is your list.
Saudi Arabia,
women can't drive, no rights and must always be covered. China and India,
infantcide of baby girls.
Afghanistan,
unequal education rights. Democratic Republic of Congo, where rapes are brutal
and women are left to die, or HIV infected and left to care for children alone.
Mali, where women can not escape the torture of genital mutilation. Pakistan,
in tribal areas where women are gang raped to pay for men's crime.
Guatemala,
the impoverished female underclass of Guatemala faces domestic violence, rape
and the second-highest rate of HIV/AIDS after sub-Saharan Africa. An epidemic
of gruesome unsolved murders has left hundreds of women dead, some of their
bodies left with hate messages.
Well there are some of us who think we need to clean up our
own back yard before we start telling other countries to clean up theirs.
I
suggest you reasearch Iran in the 1960 – 1978 (for women) you will see that they dressed pretty much
like we did. Were able to go to college and Drove cars and had established
several right’s that is until a religious take over….. You talk of Rape our country is rampant in
rapes over 300,000 of (12 and older) a year with the perpetrator often getting
a slap on the hands while the woman is degraded and shamed for everything from
how she dressed talked etc ……. Female genital mutilation I am guessing that you
are not aware that this is going on in our country and has actually doubled in occurrences
in the last few years. News week did an article on it a while back I am sure
its easy to find. Women being murdered
in the UsA by domestic violence average of 3 a day.
I suggest that before you start touting about
voices being heard in other countries you look at ours, do you even have any
idea how much human trafficking goes on in this country? Here is a link if you are truly interested in
those who are suffering on our on land. https://polarisproject.org/facts
Last but not least you’re finishing statement …. (So when
women get together in AMERICA and whine they don't have equal rights and march
in their clean clothes, after eating a hearty breakfast, and it's like a
vacation away that they have paid for to get there)
If Standing up for our rights and or change is whining then
so be it you can call me a whiner, you expect me to feel bad because I will
fight oppression, corruption or brutality in clean clothes you will have to
wait a very long time you see I haven’t lost site that it is by the very grace
of God that I have these things or that there are so many who do not, I will
not apologize for taking a stand to help those who cannot fight. I personally
find it admirable that many took their vacation time and gave it up to try to
make a difference for all, it’s called sacrificing
and for most was something they had probably
worked a year for.
You say …This WOMAN does not support it…….. Well that is the
difference between us I support your right to say your piece to not march and
to ignore or not be aware of what is going on in this beautiful land of ours
and to be able to point out injustices in other countries to make yourself feel
better about ours own shameful behavior, I sincerely hope it brings you peace, I
support that you have a right to your way of life and what it means to be a
woman to you, you do not have to go out and try to change things or to stop injustice or to make sure that our
rights that were so hard fought for by our Mothers and grandmothers and great grandmothers
are not lost. But I will and I will not
feel bad because you are offended I will not apologize because you do not like
it, but most of all I will not begrudge you and your daughters or granddaughters
to reap the benefits of my prayers, sweat, tears and work to make this a better
world. Because in the end we are all sisters and we do this not for ourselves.
