who is that woman in the Mirror , getting old isn't for the weak of heart.

Well all of a sudden i look around and it's 2015  and my copper colored hair is almost white ................. seriously when the heck did that happen ?  In the last 5 years I've been through menopause and had two  major accidents at work and one at home and a car wreck and a divorce and they have taken a major toll on my physical and mental health.  I've a gain of almost 100 pounds in four years.  
 I've literately been in pain  for 5 years and it has been a real struggle to keep my head up, it started with an accident at work with major damage to the muscles in my neck that held up my head ......... I was at my prime,  I felt great, I was working out 5 days a week lifting weights riding bikes, hiking, walking 5 miles a day then BAM major work injury tore all the muscles in my neck that held up my head.... then had to fight the city for care that was a nightmare two lawyers against me, the girl who was on her own,  freshly separated her husband with no money ... well they blamed it on my carpel tunnel surgery from three years previous,  I fought them and got a few more months therapy, no sooner did i finished with that then I rolled the lawn tractor at home BAM major head injury .... short term memory bye bye lol, then the car wreck on my Birthday a delivery buss side swiped the cab we were in last year............ nerve damage in my hips,   then in August of that year Blew my Knee at work................... Okay God you have my attention just please give me the brains to figure out what your trying to say lol
Now its 2015 and I am going to be 55 years old .............. seriously 55 years old wow who the heck is that my grandma  in the mirror ..... I get up in the morning and I feel the same, although I am a little slower and not as strong as i used to be, I go to work and put in an ten hour day working out side with a group of 15 guys and now two women, trimming trees and shrubs, mowing, edging but my brain can not comprehend that im not 25 anymore, I push and push to keep up the same level of work but its getting harder and harder.  This year I finally started taking my two 15 minute breaks during my ten hour shift and it still feels weird to do, but i realize that ive got to take care if this machine called my body.
I've gone from young farm girl , to vivacious teen to young married woman, to mother of 3 birth children to mother 5, 2 God given love babies To Nina my most blessed role of all. Its funny I would not trade my role of Nina for the youth of yesterday. I will embrace  this wrinkled soul broken down body and some day my ashes to ashes  so that I might experience these years as a nina and a slightly wiser mother to my children and hopefully a kinder sister , Daughter, wife and friend.

religion, politics,relationship,love,

Religion............. politics..........Relationship................The Church .........Brothers and sisters of Christ.............

.Ive pondered how to even write about My Love /Hate relationship with this subject. It is strange how you can love something so much and loath it too
.
My personal walk has been interesting with ups and downs,many rivers to cross usually the human type. When i first came to the church i was very naive, I just assumed that if a person was a church going person they were good and kind and loving lol , What i found was regular human beings and a great deal of the time not much different then what i had seen out in the "lost" world, although there were some beautiful examples of Christ i did meet that had a genuine  love for all of Gods people............they say that we are to be the hands and feet and face of God, meaning that others will often come to know Christ through his people and their actions as we minister to them, weather teaching, sharing, a kindness shown when someone is hurting, food when one is hungry and so on. We need more people like that, I need to be more like that. There is a definite lacking in our houses of God for these type of people these days.

It seems to me that body of Christ has become more political then loving and politically the church has been brought down to three subjects Homosexuality,Abortion & Guns and are politically controlled like sheep going to their own slaughter. I do not understand the statement I keep hearing from some people of faith especially the ones whom seem to live to be upfront in the media  , we are going to take our nation back, then spouting about this or that political leader, or a law we are trying to vote in.....seriously  by how we vote? the very concept smacks of lack of faith. Do they not believe God can move a  heart, that he the one whom formed the very world we live in can not direct his world, maybe its because if we focus on others we will not have to examine our own lives,now that could become uncomfortable, then we just might want to step away from being the big almighty judge and be more compassionate to others, could it be that the world doesn't
understand this God we keep telling them about because they see so little of him in us in the way we live our lives. I often wonder have we even considered that our nation our families are hurting and continue to be "lost" because as people of faith we have been sitting back in our pews for years more worried about how many will show up for the next potluck or luncheon fellowship then those whom are hurting, hungry, and spiritually wounded. Where did the Love & compassion of Christ go in our hearts for others, how did it become them against us and with that attitude how can we expect them to be open to the message of hope that we are to bring.
Which brings me back to my love hate relationship with the church............. on one hand I can not stand what so many churches have become devoid of love and faith in an amazing powerful God and what he can do,on the other hand I have seen God in so many ways thru  a church that has people whom love him and love all of his people not just the ones that fit nice and tidy in a little church box and i crave to worship beside them, to be his hands and feet again to lift up my hands in praise and sing out his name. So i guess i will continue to wander thru the dessert till he leads me to my new home,

Just a little Laughter

Its funny the older i get the more i just choose to let go of stuff whether its plans that have gone awry or hurtful angry people....... its not that i don't get upset, hurt or irritated I have just found that it takes way to much Time and energy to keep my feathers in a fluff.  It seems more and more I shake my head and just laugh lol
Having lived through a few years and more than one or two personal blunders myself, which I believe has made me a better and more compassionate human being ( my children will be stunned to find out im not perfect LOL ) When people in my circle do something stupid, hurtful or cruel I try to understand where they are coming from that may have led to her/ his behavior, that doesn't mean I give them a free pass to wreck and ruin in the lives of my family  (Meaning  My Love, My children, Norseman & his Bride) as I will almost always try to discuss an issue so that its not repeated or to let them know its unacceptable.
This old lady just doesn't let it get to her like when i was younger, plans change, things don't always go as i have planned and that is okay maybe God has something better for me. When it comes to unhealthy people or people who make poor decisions  I think that it comes down to a point in our lives that we finally learn that we can only control our behavior and how we react to those around us and circumstances, we can choose not to allow others to rob us of the joy in our lives.  So I choose to laugh things off shake my head and move on down the road.

New Years come & go

This is a little late but that is just the way it goes,  So it seems 2014 has flown by filled with work, family, Friends, Laughter & health issues. On the work front I got a new partner this year,  Robin what a blessing such a willing and hard worker and just a blast to work with, as a person whom normally enjoys working alone Ive been surprised how much I enjoy working with her, could be that we are always laughing.
 Unfortunately  2014 was hard on the health front for my husband and I , another cancer scare for my Love more hospital visits, but we ended that on a good note with good news.  I was injured on the job this summer and then re-injured again in the fall now fighting my work place for the surgery needed to repair the injury, could end my career with the city if I do not get my knee repaired.....

On the family front it has been a wonderful year I have an amazing husband we just celebrated our 3rd anniversary, our multi generational home has really settled into a peaceful/chaotic house full of Love and the sound of Tinks laughter.
We have an amazing new woman in our lives Miss Amber, she is our son Jacobs girlfriend such a beautiful sweet soul and a joy to be around. It has been so nice to see the joy she has brought into his life.
Some of the biggest changes have been watching Tink grow this year as she turned 4 years old, she has gotten taller and can carry on quite the conversation and has started pre-school and ballet. She is one busy girl and keeps us all on our toes.
Friends and laughter............... our Taco Tuesday crew,  We are incredibly blessed to have such a great group of people to spend time with BBQ's,  Diners and Mile stone birthdays then our regular Taco Tuesdays get together.
Which brings us to the start of a new year Tree comes down the day after New Years, house cleaned, Great news for My Love on the health front, My month Long Vacation woo hoo, getting ready for our Anniversary Beach vacation.  So 2015 is looking pretty darn good.